Brought to you by the letter "Y"

Y... Why... Why me?! Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. Our existence on this earth is perpetuated by the question 'Why?' Individuals seek the proverbial man on the mountain for all the answers. Comic strips entertain this notion as well as video games promote idealist Oracles that know all the answers. Is it no wonder why our children are programmed to ask 'Why?' Begrudgingly we are programmed to answer. It is all a part of the parental curse.

"The Parental Curse"

The common cold is passed from person to person through contact. I can shake your hand and then rub my eyes or nose and then I catch whatever you had. Self Defense to reduce the risks of getting sick is as simple as 'keep your fingers and toes away from your mouth and nose". Ha! If it were only that simple.


Years of teaching children led me to believe that I would be great with kids. Friends, family members, strangers and teachers all praised me for my patience and understanding with kids and they all convinced me to either adopt their kids or have my own. I, of course, had to have my own. After all, how hard could it be. BAM! Foot in mouth! I caught the curse.


"Y"



There are so many things I promised myself that I would never do in life. One of which was not to be like my mom and dad. How cliche. When my kids started asking me 'why?', I would give them very simple reasons. AND THEY BOUGHT IT! Hold on... Reasons = Reasoning.. I was trying to reason with a child. Not happening. Never did and never will. So I found myself saying:

"Because I said so!"
"That's why!"
"Go ask your mother"
"No ifs, ands or buts"
"This is your one and only warning"
"If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?"
"If you know what is good for you..."
"If I have to get up..."

I found that most kids will answer their own questions. So I became the therapist. I started saying things like:
"Why do you think that is a good idea?"
"How does that make you feel?"
"Help me understand your idea, question or logic"
"What do you think I am going to say and why?"

After my kids started to see that they were not getting anywhere with their arguments, they started going elsewhere. Eventually they would come back. And like any cold or flu, they were going to be mutants. Evolved forms of ??? Evolution has taught us one thing. To survive in the world, you have to adapt. It is the survival of the strongest. And by golly, I am to outlast my kids. I was running out of reasons, patience and pages from my parent handbook. Page 19 was blank! WHY??!! Was I supposed to fill in the gaps? Was I supposed to take notes on other parenting styles? Do my own research? Then it hit me... The way to stop an argument is to not argue. The sound of one hand clapping. Hmm.. The man on the mountain.

I have evolved. (full circle I guess) Now when my kids ask "why?" I simply say NO and smile. I stop and listen to the reasoning, arguments and I get to see the 6 layers of acceptance. I understand where relevant life experiences have taken me. I understand Permissive vs. Restrictive parenting styles. I AM THE MAN ON THE MOUNTAIN!!

My new mantra is...

"Because when I say YES, see there are no arguments." (I am quick to point that out.)
I will let you know if I survive the next level of this game we call life.. TEEN YEARS.