When I was a KID!!

Have you ever thought to yourself that things were much harder or tougher when you were a kid? Or have you ever confronted your parent(s) on the observation that they love your kids more than they loved you when you were a kid? My children are stuck with me!! 

Edmund Burke quotes (British Statesman and Philosopher, 1729-1797)

“Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it.”

So I bought a mouse trap, a razor blade, prescription pills :-), some wine and a cigar the other day and set them on the table after dinner. My kids were perplexed.  They knew that I did not drink or smoke. But what was up with the mouse trap?  As they sat there, I opened the wine and poured a glass. They immediately started to panic because they knew that I did not drink. They were concerned!  They started to get emotional and told me not to do it. My oldest daughter got mad. I calmly explained that I had a bad day and that nobody would understand. It was all about me and by golly I was going to feel good about something. I explained that the drink was going to help relax me.  As I raised the glass to my lips I observed their concern and I paused... I slid the glass away..

Then I picked up the cigar and a lighter and proceeded to walk out..  They immediately started to panic because they knew that I did not smoke. They were concerned!  They started to get emotional and told me not to do it. My youngest daughter got mad. I calmly explained that I had a bad day and that nobody would understand. It was all about me and by golly I was going to feel good about something. I explained that the cigar was going to help relax me.  As I raised the cigar to my lips I observed their concern and I paused... I threw the cigar away..  

Then I picked up the razor proceeded to flip it in my fingers as if to cut myself on purpose..  They immediately started to panic because they did not want me to hurt myself. They were concerned! They started to get emotional and told me not to do it. Both of daughters got mad. I calmly explained that I had a bad day and that nobody would understand. It was all about me and by golly I was going to feel good about something. I explained that the razor was going to help me forget about the pain I endured that day.  As I raised the  razor  to my arm I observed their concern and I paused... I put the razor down..  

Then I picked up the pills and put 2  - 3 in my hand..  They immediately started to panic because they knew that I did not need to take the pills. They were concerned!  They started to get emotional and told me not to do it. My oldest daughter got mad. I calmly explained that I had a bad day and that nobody would understand. It was all about me and by golly I was going to feel good about something. I explained that the pills were going to help relax me.  As I raised the pills to my lips I observed their concern and I paused... I put  the pills back in the bottle..  

Finally I picked up the mouse trap and set it to Kill..  They immediately started to panic because they knew that we did not have any mice.  They were concerned!  They started to get emotional and asked me what I was going to do with it.  I calmly explained that I had a bad day and that nobody would understand. It was all about me and by golly I was going to feel good about something. I explained that the mouse trap was all the rage and it looked like fun!  I just wanted to see for myself.   As I put my hand into the trap I observed their concern and curiosity.  THEY LET ME DO IT!!  They just sat there and screamed when the trapped unexpectedly slammed on my arm. OW!!!!   They asked if it hurt and I said YES! Then I did it again. and again.. They were amused yet solicitous about my welfare.  I then pushed the trap to them and said, "Here. Try it."  They refused!  I tried to explain the rush.. The feeling.. The FUN!! I offered them $$$...  I offered them food!!! I offered them toys!!!  I offered them a new phone!!!  NO.. NO.. NO.. 

As I slid the trap away I asked them what was the difference between the mouse trap, the razor blade, the prescription pills :-), the wine and the cigar.  We came to a conclusion that all of these items were just an escape from my problems. Although these items were hurting me, I did not care how it affected the one's that I love. I even tried to drag them into my misery.  Now, I know that my kids will forget this lesson and/or think that I have gone over the deep end. They may not have made a connection to their lives or understood the relevance of my muse.  I also know that they will eventually put their hand in the proverbial mouse trap. However,  the exercise opened up a dialog.  We had a chance to sit there and talk about the kids that are hurting themselves just to escape or to get attention. I also pointed out that when I chose to hurt myself I needed to see and understand how my actions affected my loved ones!  

I do not  assume that my kids intuitively know right from wrong. I believe that they are influenced by their peers and media. My goal is to be a guide, a mentor, a disciplinarian, a role model ...  A Parent!  In as much as they are embarrassed to be associated with me...  They know that their parents care.. 

Odometer

The 2009 Odometer -  Tempus Edax Rerum!

 

Every 3000 miles or 3 months I change the oil in my truck..  Why?  Traditionally, my  older vehicle needed an oil change to make sure that every thing under the hood was working correctly. Out with the old and in with the new. My older vehicle just seemed to run better and it added to the life of my engine.  I guess old habits die hard because I am told that my newer car does not need such detailed maintenance..  ?? Cleaner gas? Better parts?  Newer technology?? Oh well..  As I sit there at the Oil Stop and reflect on the previous 3000 miles, I muse over the parallels of the proverbial oil change and my New Years' commitments.  It is all a numbers game. 

 

3000 miles = fresh oil

8 weeks = new belt

52 weeks = New Commitments

 

 

There are

 

60 seconds in every minute

60 minutes in every hour

24 hours a day

7 days a week

4.5 weeks in a month

360 days a year

52 weeks a year

12 months in a year

every 3 months = 1 quarter of a Year

 

If I do all the numbers then I should have time to complete a number of goals..  All I have to do is pick a number... A completion date..  A date for a new ????

 

What is Your Goal in for the New Year?

 

There are so many euphemisms and idioms to motivate me to get the Job done!

 

For instance:

Practice makes permanent

A habit is something that you practice for so often for so long that you no longer have to think about it - you just do it!

If pain and sweat are temporary...  then what is forever?  Black Belt

A Black Belt is a White belt that never gave up.  - Perseverance

The hardest thing to do to be a Black Belt is stand still - Discipline!

If you are going to eat an elephant, do it one bite at a time..

 

Of course there will be obstacles that are going to stand in your way of completing your goal.... but once you've started then you are half way done.  :-)  LOL.  Who am I trying to kid...  The motivation that keeps me going is the fact that I did it! I might have been afraid or hesitant or even full of doubt. But, I know that by this time next year I can look back and say...  I did it!

 

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!

Keep in mind that you might have Sundays off..  That accounts for...

52 days a year of free time

also..

Major Holidays...

another 9 days (give or take)

61 days of free time

If you take Saturdays off (or one day a week)...

113 days of free time

If you take 2 weeks of vacation per year...

127 days of free time

3 weeks vacation... (or a day or two due to PTO)...

134 days of free time  

That is approximately 4.4 months of free time!  NOW!!

If I work 14 hour days and I get 10 hours of free time on my remaining 231 days of work then that accounts for 96 days of free time..

I now have a total of 230 days of free time ...  assuming I do not sleep...

I think that adds up to a little over 7.5 months of free time.  OK  I know you need sleep. I get 6 hours of sleep per night...  That leaves 4 hours of free time right. Ok.

In that 4 hours I have to shower, shave, get dressed, eat, commute to-from... That leaves...  1 hour...   hmmmm.   It takes my 96 days down to 9 more days of free time..  Add that on to my 134 days and I get a total of...

143 days of free time... Almost 5 Months of Free ME Time.  5 Months!!  5 Months... 

 I think I have too much free time on my hands.

 

 

The Pontificating Haranguetang

I am going to write one or two children's books. One book would deal with a Rabbit named Yeahbut and the other book would deal with a little ape who has an opinion on everything. Bananas are not his thing; however, opinions (onions-refer to earlier posts) represent his inner being. His name is Garrulous Gavin..  He is not a brother or cousin nor is he related to and even know the other curious monkey mentioned in other children's books.

Here are the Cliff Notes...

He was and still is an only child. Not that this was or still is a bad thing but his Dad and Mom threw away the parent's handbook and they did not have a clue on how to raise this little Haranguetang. So they just stopped at One!  

He was spoiled from the get go. His parents claimed that he was the Dalai Llama reincarnated and soon it was apparent that HE was the one running the household. On his 5th birthday (this would be 1 in people years) he acquired the gift of gab. He was the loquacious young Haranguetang. Many reticent children his age often stayed away from him because he was always in their space. He was not physical as much as he was overwhelmingly verbose. He soon found out that his gift could get him things. Things that made him seem Omnipotent in his little world. He was and is a legend in his own mind. People that knew better often stayed clear of him. He did not take NO! for an answer. When Garrulous Gavin wanted something, argue about something, or watch something, he would set his sights on it and wear down whomever it was that was stopping him from getting what he wanted.  At first this behavioral tick was cute and everyone  Garrulous Gavin came in contact with swore that he would grow up to be a Lawyer. Later it would become apparent that these same people were plotting his demise... (or at least a lengthy intervention that would go down in history as the bible on Behavioral Modification Before Inducing Death)

The underlying root to Garrulous Gavin was that he had permissive parents. Garrulous Gavin was a latchkey kid and his parents were Liberal Lobbyists for a certain political party. They often blamed Garrulous Gavin actions on other mediums, such as, the nanny, the TV, the school teachers, his friends, etc. His parents often excused and exonerated Garrulous Gavin by saying, "boys will be boys or... he will grow out of it or... we did the same thing when we were kids and we turned out fine...." Little did Garrulous Gavin's parents know that he would grow up and tell them a thing or two.  Not that this was or is a good thing, but Garrulous Gavin had an arrogance about him and an opinion on everything.  

Garrulous Gavin the Pontificating Haranguetang will be a book of comedic and tragic perceptions.  Perhaps you know a voluble individual.  This person is not laconic, because that would indicate that he/she actually know what they are talking about and they can do it in a fraction of the time..  This person has suppressed and oppressed the taciturn individual. This person has taken over parties, movies and other events in our lives and made us all victims to his/her fancy.  Well, it is time to learn how to deal with Garrulous Gavin the Pontificating Haranguetang.  Or at least learn a thing or two from his behavior. 

 I am not advocating some mid-evil corporal torture (hhhmm)  but I am going to endorse a method of discipline that is inherent and intuitive in our very core...   Some would say punishment or consequences or judgement or penalty...  I would like to say reminders...  :-) Tough love!  Just walk away!  Let's not accept nor ignore Garrulous Gavin the Pontificating Haranguetang; however, let's guide him to a more humble and genuine lifestyle. Characteristics of a Super hero and not the villain. Ethics and morals of a saint and not a banshee. Role model for the role model..  

Until next time... 

 

Put a price on it!

Traffic Law

So I got caught in the Diamond lane the other day!

I was coming back from the city and the traffic was bumper to bumper. It was one of those times that I wish that I did not drink that Big Gulp! What was I thinking... Next time I will wear one of those travel diapers for adults or take along a trucker's buddy. All I could do was sing a song and dance.... tap the steering wheel.. say a prayer.. There was no relief in site... All of a sudden I came upon an open lane. Freedom I thought. I knew where there was an exit from the freeway and all I had to do was get there. I was in a HURRY! As I sped up into the open lane, I could see the exit 1 mile ahead. I was within reach. Nothing could stop ..... oops... then I saw it! I was in a diamond lane. In my haste, I did not realize that the reason the lane was open was because it was a carpool lane. The only way that I could justify being in this lane was that I was in a car and it was about to become a pool. What was I thinking?! I needed to get out of this lane before I get busted. The only problem was that the other 5 lanes of cars were bumper to bumper. It was as if they knew I was in a hurry. As much as I tried, no one would let me back in.. Perhaps they knew that I was being watched. Perhaps they had all planned this when they woke up that morning. They were all against me. In my time of need, no one seemed to care. Finally, a saint in the sea of self-fish cars! Someone opened the door. Someone let me back in.. AND! Just in time.. My exit was just ahead. I could almost touch it. I could see the off ramp. If it weren't for those red and blue lights in my rear view mirror, I would have made it. The CHP officer was matter of fact. He was all business. He asked me if I knew what the intended use of the Diamond Lane. He asked me if I knew the fine for being in the lane without passengers. He asked me.. "WHY?" I did my best to explain my dilemma and it seemed as though he understood. OHH! He understood! He looked at me, looked at my license and said that he would return momentarily. I could see him in my rear view mirror talking on his radio, eating a sandwich, calling his wife, cleaning his gun, and polishing his shoes. Did I not explain the URGENCY of my decision? After what felt like 2 hours, he returned my license and registration and lectured me on the importance of following the traffic laws. All the while, he had a smirk on his face. He had done this before. Needless to say that I was grateful for the forgiveness and I made it just in time to relieve myself of my anguish. I had escaped the day with a lesson in preparation. The cost of the ticket would have been....$275

Kaitlyn's Law

As I parked to get a tan I heard a baby crying. It was coming from a Ford Expedition next to me. Upon further investigation, I could see that a baby was left in the car and all the windows were up. It was locked up tighter than Fort Knox. Not even a crack for ventilation. I really did not think anything of it because it appeared that the owner of the SUV was in the parking lot talking with some friends. Or so I thought. I was annoyed that they just stood there and talked with each other. Ignoring the fact that their baby was crying. I just had to ask.... The answer shocked me. They said 'No!' I stood next to the SUV dumbfounded. Where was the owner? As I started to look around the vehicle for an open door, the owner came out of no where and got in her car and drove away. It happened just as fast as it had started. I concluded that the girl must have just dropped something off. There was no way that she left her infant in a locked car.

SO, as I stood in line for a tan, I just had to ask... again.. The folks inside confirmed my fear. The 18 girl had stopped in for an 18 minute Tan! What!!?? If she had an 18 minute tan then that would mean that she left her infant in the locked car for 20 minutes minimum. I called the Sheriff's department to ask if this was acceptable behavior. And the Dispatcher said no. I also researched the law and this is what I found out ---$100 for a citation. Yes!! The fine is $100, plus a variety of court fees that bring it to about $340.. As well as a point on your driving record. Hmmmm.

As conservative as I am, even I am outraged and disappointed that the price of an infants life or medical harm is not as severe as .. littering ($1000 fine) or carpool lane violation ($275+). Something needed to be done. The Sheriff's Departments hands are tied and Child Protective Services said that they could not violate confidentiality with the Tanning Salon. The question they kept asking me was if I had written down the license plate. I said no. I did, however, insist that something needed to be done. And something did.... I received a call from CPS and they said that one of their Social Workers would pay this 18 year mother a visit.

I did learn something from this incident. Act of your gut instincts. I know I teach it and I am glad I did it. If an 18 year old mother puts the price of a Tan higher than that of her own daughter then it is up to all of us to help her realize that her rational is Wrong! Dead wrong! The price of getting involved far outweighed the price of regret and remorse. If you see something wrong... Act on it... If you are to afraid or don't know how to get involved then ask questions.

Can you imagine a world with little to no tolerance for ignorance?

No more toys for Dad!

If the shoe fits wear it..



Say it can't be true! The phrase 'The one who dies with the most toys wins!' I know someone very close to me whose super hero is Imelda Marcos. Not for political reasons but for podiatry reasons. But before she dies, her mission shall be complete! Her soul shall have some much needed rest. The long trek to the light will be Dr. Scholls vision of heavenly delight. She considers herself quite the shoe diva. No matter what the cost, if the shoes fits -- Buy It!



Walk a mile in my shoes...



A good friend if mine and one of my better students was quite the transcendentalist. Ralph Waldo Emerson said: "To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded." The sentence that did not get published (allegedly) was at the end of this quote... I cannot confirm nor deny the fact of the authenticity of this sentence, but here it is.... " ... -this is to have succeeded. At any cost!"



Hmmm.. 'At any cost'. Being that Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau were Transcendentalists, I can only assume that this phrase was pecuniary by definition. These guys were philosophers not fighters. They were intellectuals! My Heros!



Money can't buy you happiness.



It is not happiness that I am after in my life. I am very happy and I hope that the people around me are happy. In order to satisfy my love (not lust... zeal maybe, but not lust) for contentment, I have found the very thing that fills my void.... TOYS! It makes me whole. It makes me complete. My sin is anything electronic, or golf related, or flight of fancy. I cannot blame Requip for this affliction, it is me! My Soul! My mission. It chose me! It might be shoes for one person, art for another, electronic gadgets for one and vehicles for another, but for me.. It is whatever I am involved in at that moment. I need toys for my fulfillment, so that I too can be enlightened. If educational expenses are tax deductible, then whatever I need to fully appreciate my obsession should not be considered a TOY! I am not 'Keeping up with the Jones'; however, I am setting the standard for the Jones' to appreciate the full edification of their very existence.

So, when someone chants 'No more Toys for Dad', it is your moral and ethical duty to educate them on the existential purpose of your Purchase!

Reactive vs. Proactive

The Canadian rock group Rush recorded a song written by Neil Peart. His lyrics sum up the great Shakespeare - As You Like It - Act 2, scene 7, 139–143 - Referring to the 7 Stages of Man. It goes like this..

All the world's indeed a stage and we are mearly players. Performers and portrayers. Each anothers audience outside the guilded stage.

... Page 18 of the Personality Handbook defines situational experiences with two distinct personality and character actions elicited by a stimulus. Those who are reactive and those who are proactive. Page 18 of the Parent Handbook would call this 'Good Cop, Bad Cop'. Webster's rather mediocre definition is as follows:

Re·ac·tive
Tending to be responsive or to react to a stimulus.
Characterized by reaction.
Chemistry & Physics Tending to participate readily in reactions

Pro·ac·tive
Serving to prepare for, intervene in, or control an expected occurrence or situation, especially a negative or difficult one; anticipatory: proactive measures against crime.

The Stage

I know a good friend who personality is caustic. Behind the smile and the chummy persona lies an angry and rabid badger. It does not take much to ignite his temper and his tongue. I personally find it amusing in a tragic sense; however, I feel compelled to stand by his side so that he might learn self control through shear osmosis. But alas, the proverbial leopard and his spots always prevail... So much of his energy is wasted on the implosion then the explosion.
Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Wes Craven and Stephen King are all Children's Authors compared to the stage that my friend's scripted acts.

My friend rarely accepts responsibility for his performances. He usually has a huge list of credits. He often says, 'I would like to take this opportunity to blame my Mom, Dad, Teachers, Spouse, The Man, etc...' He was perpetually stuck in the 'Yeah, but...' stage. Or 'It must be everyone else with the problem. He is soooo animated that the Grimm Reaper takes a day off when my friend takes the stage.

According to the Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance are supposed to be normal stages of Grief. After one of his performances all I can say is 'Good Grief!' We know these tantrums to be associated with the terrible two's and kids might outgrow this stage with some tough love and nurturing. Some people, by nature, are inherently stuck in this conundrum of behavioral outbursts and I say 'Lights, Camera, Action"

On the other side of the coin.

I know a good friend who personality is constructive and not destructive. Every situation is thought out and strategized. He is the Joshua Waitzkin of situational circumstances. Nothing gets his goat. His true test of patience was when he suffered the ultimate curse - CHILDREN. There are many trials and tribulations in which I can write about; however, not enough time. ;-) ... Bottom line... He always takes the approach that he can only change the things that are in his control. And that was usually 'Himself'. Mahatma Gandhi has called him for advice on more than one occasion.

His stage is generally observed and often emulated. People often mistake his kindness for a sign of weakness. Script and screen writers are always in abundance offering their unsolicited opinions as to how he should have reacted. Many times I have heard these arm chair quarterbacks say, 'Hey, ya know what you should do?' And all he does is keep about his business. In his world his stage is not a matter of public opinion. He addresses the problem, makes adjustments and quietly goes along his business.

When I rewind...

I know that in life I can either react to my circumstances or I can be a person of action. If all the world's a stage and we are all indeed players, then I wish to leave my audience with a great appreciation of the lesson or moral that was intertwined within the act. Something should always to be learned and shared. Just the definition of re-act means that I didn't learn anything the first time around. However, page 18 of the Actors Handbook says and I quote, 'Give 'em want they want!'

Good Cop/Bad Cop

Perception and stereotypes are 9/10's the law. (Page 18 of the Ignoramus Handbook). Some situations dictate the use of academy award caliber performances. I have frequently used this theory on my stage.... Without this partnership, how can we entertain and find humor in our otherwise mundane life. :-) More elaboration to come...

Do you know a fellow reactor?

B-Log

To muse or not to muse

So the definition of a blog is: To write entries in, add material to, or maintain a weblog. I was amused when my daughters expressed disbelief that I not only had a blog but that I knew what one was. I attempted to explain that blogging was a natural progression in scribing one's thoughts and actions. History is full of Blogs.. For example:

Nlog = Neanderthal Logs
Hlog = Hieroglyphic Logs, Historical Logs
Slog = Scripture Logs
Rlog = Renaissance Logs
Dlog = Diary Logs
Vlog = Video Logs
Llog = Literary Logs
Clog = Captains Logs, Comicstrip Logs
STlog = Star Trek Logs
Plog = Personal Logs
Flog = Fireplace Logs

Death of a Log = Dialog (tnks Mark)

Whatever form it presents itself, a log is a log. The expression of one's idea's, thoughts and actions. HHmmm. Could it be that simple. Could people have recorded their observations and then someone mistook the written word as fact. I mean, now the New York Times has its own blog. Newsprint media is giving way to the Internet reader. Bloggers content is rumored to be an inaccurate because of their sources. Can it be that fiction is truer than fact now? I was always told to think of the source. When I check my facts, I can reach an educated conclusion that the information I read or wrote is true. My sources are, well, me, my mom and dad, my brother and sisters, my wife, her immediate family, my children, my peers, my coworkers, my experiences, my my my... :-) I certainly hope that history is kind to me.

I like to think that I am sequitur by nature and somewhat pragmatical. The contradiction lies within the way I try to get my messages across. I love the metaphor, parable, analogy and allegory. Symbolism rules! I see quite a bit of humor in the choices we make. And far be it from me to hold this back from the written word. This is the well caffeinated version of my take on human behavior. The psychiatric and social game that rules our daily interaction with every carbon life form that inhabits the big blue marble.

This is my Blog.. :-) or Rant... or Scribing... or Novel... or...