Reactive vs. Proactive

The Canadian rock group Rush recorded a song written by Neil Peart. His lyrics sum up the great Shakespeare - As You Like It - Act 2, scene 7, 139–143 - Referring to the 7 Stages of Man. It goes like this..

All the world's indeed a stage and we are mearly players. Performers and portrayers. Each anothers audience outside the guilded stage.

... Page 18 of the Personality Handbook defines situational experiences with two distinct personality and character actions elicited by a stimulus. Those who are reactive and those who are proactive. Page 18 of the Parent Handbook would call this 'Good Cop, Bad Cop'. Webster's rather mediocre definition is as follows:

Re·ac·tive
Tending to be responsive or to react to a stimulus.
Characterized by reaction.
Chemistry & Physics Tending to participate readily in reactions

Pro·ac·tive
Serving to prepare for, intervene in, or control an expected occurrence or situation, especially a negative or difficult one; anticipatory: proactive measures against crime.

The Stage

I know a good friend who personality is caustic. Behind the smile and the chummy persona lies an angry and rabid badger. It does not take much to ignite his temper and his tongue. I personally find it amusing in a tragic sense; however, I feel compelled to stand by his side so that he might learn self control through shear osmosis. But alas, the proverbial leopard and his spots always prevail... So much of his energy is wasted on the implosion then the explosion.
Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Wes Craven and Stephen King are all Children's Authors compared to the stage that my friend's scripted acts.

My friend rarely accepts responsibility for his performances. He usually has a huge list of credits. He often says, 'I would like to take this opportunity to blame my Mom, Dad, Teachers, Spouse, The Man, etc...' He was perpetually stuck in the 'Yeah, but...' stage. Or 'It must be everyone else with the problem. He is soooo animated that the Grimm Reaper takes a day off when my friend takes the stage.

According to the Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance are supposed to be normal stages of Grief. After one of his performances all I can say is 'Good Grief!' We know these tantrums to be associated with the terrible two's and kids might outgrow this stage with some tough love and nurturing. Some people, by nature, are inherently stuck in this conundrum of behavioral outbursts and I say 'Lights, Camera, Action"

On the other side of the coin.

I know a good friend who personality is constructive and not destructive. Every situation is thought out and strategized. He is the Joshua Waitzkin of situational circumstances. Nothing gets his goat. His true test of patience was when he suffered the ultimate curse - CHILDREN. There are many trials and tribulations in which I can write about; however, not enough time. ;-) ... Bottom line... He always takes the approach that he can only change the things that are in his control. And that was usually 'Himself'. Mahatma Gandhi has called him for advice on more than one occasion.

His stage is generally observed and often emulated. People often mistake his kindness for a sign of weakness. Script and screen writers are always in abundance offering their unsolicited opinions as to how he should have reacted. Many times I have heard these arm chair quarterbacks say, 'Hey, ya know what you should do?' And all he does is keep about his business. In his world his stage is not a matter of public opinion. He addresses the problem, makes adjustments and quietly goes along his business.

When I rewind...

I know that in life I can either react to my circumstances or I can be a person of action. If all the world's a stage and we are all indeed players, then I wish to leave my audience with a great appreciation of the lesson or moral that was intertwined within the act. Something should always to be learned and shared. Just the definition of re-act means that I didn't learn anything the first time around. However, page 18 of the Actors Handbook says and I quote, 'Give 'em want they want!'

Good Cop/Bad Cop

Perception and stereotypes are 9/10's the law. (Page 18 of the Ignoramus Handbook). Some situations dictate the use of academy award caliber performances. I have frequently used this theory on my stage.... Without this partnership, how can we entertain and find humor in our otherwise mundane life. :-) More elaboration to come...

Do you know a fellow reactor?