The Pontificating Haranguetang

I am going to write one or two children's books. One book would deal with a Rabbit named Yeahbut and the other book would deal with a little ape who has an opinion on everything. Bananas are not his thing; however, opinions (onions-refer to earlier posts) represent his inner being. His name is Garrulous Gavin..  He is not a brother or cousin nor is he related to and even know the other curious monkey mentioned in other children's books.

Here are the Cliff Notes...

He was and still is an only child. Not that this was or still is a bad thing but his Dad and Mom threw away the parent's handbook and they did not have a clue on how to raise this little Haranguetang. So they just stopped at One!  

He was spoiled from the get go. His parents claimed that he was the Dalai Llama reincarnated and soon it was apparent that HE was the one running the household. On his 5th birthday (this would be 1 in people years) he acquired the gift of gab. He was the loquacious young Haranguetang. Many reticent children his age often stayed away from him because he was always in their space. He was not physical as much as he was overwhelmingly verbose. He soon found out that his gift could get him things. Things that made him seem Omnipotent in his little world. He was and is a legend in his own mind. People that knew better often stayed clear of him. He did not take NO! for an answer. When Garrulous Gavin wanted something, argue about something, or watch something, he would set his sights on it and wear down whomever it was that was stopping him from getting what he wanted.  At first this behavioral tick was cute and everyone  Garrulous Gavin came in contact with swore that he would grow up to be a Lawyer. Later it would become apparent that these same people were plotting his demise... (or at least a lengthy intervention that would go down in history as the bible on Behavioral Modification Before Inducing Death)

The underlying root to Garrulous Gavin was that he had permissive parents. Garrulous Gavin was a latchkey kid and his parents were Liberal Lobbyists for a certain political party. They often blamed Garrulous Gavin actions on other mediums, such as, the nanny, the TV, the school teachers, his friends, etc. His parents often excused and exonerated Garrulous Gavin by saying, "boys will be boys or... he will grow out of it or... we did the same thing when we were kids and we turned out fine...." Little did Garrulous Gavin's parents know that he would grow up and tell them a thing or two.  Not that this was or is a good thing, but Garrulous Gavin had an arrogance about him and an opinion on everything.  

Garrulous Gavin the Pontificating Haranguetang will be a book of comedic and tragic perceptions.  Perhaps you know a voluble individual.  This person is not laconic, because that would indicate that he/she actually know what they are talking about and they can do it in a fraction of the time..  This person has suppressed and oppressed the taciturn individual. This person has taken over parties, movies and other events in our lives and made us all victims to his/her fancy.  Well, it is time to learn how to deal with Garrulous Gavin the Pontificating Haranguetang.  Or at least learn a thing or two from his behavior. 

 I am not advocating some mid-evil corporal torture (hhhmm)  but I am going to endorse a method of discipline that is inherent and intuitive in our very core...   Some would say punishment or consequences or judgement or penalty...  I would like to say reminders...  :-) Tough love!  Just walk away!  Let's not accept nor ignore Garrulous Gavin the Pontificating Haranguetang; however, let's guide him to a more humble and genuine lifestyle. Characteristics of a Super hero and not the villain. Ethics and morals of a saint and not a banshee. Role model for the role model..  

Until next time...